Trying not to live vicariously

I read books, write books, publish books, teach literature, offer writing workshops, run an organization that supports local writers, and in almost every other way am deeply invested in the culture of books.  I have loved books for as long as I can remember.

I say all this to offer some context for the complicated emotions that I feel as I find that my own kids, at least so far, are not nearly as interested in reading and writing as I am.  My eldest particularly is a facts guy.  He loves to know about things (snakes, sharks, dinosaurs, ancient Greeks, and World War II battles are just some of the subjects where he has developed some expertise).  Reading is for him a sometimes necessary evil to get at those facts, but it is not a joy and an excitement the way that it was for me at his age.  He very rarely sits down to read for pleasure, even if he sometimes does get caught up in a book once he is made to begin it.

Now, I realize that he is only nine and that he very well may grow into a greater interest in books as he gets to be a better reader, but it is difficult for me not to force my own love of books on him.  I want him to love books in the way that I do, because I have found so much in books that I want him to discover also. The reality is, however, that he may never see in books what I see in them. Reading may always be for him merely a source of information rather than of pleasure, and I need to be able to accept that.

This same dynamic occurs often between parents and children, I suspect.  As parents we may love soccer and have our children choose basketball or swimming or no sport at all.  We may love to sing and have our children prefer to play guitar or be a DJ or have nothing to do with music.  We may have invested ourselves in a particular career or cause or religion or activity and find that our children want something else entirely.  I am learning that allowing them to make these choices for themselves is one of the hardest things for a parent to do, but I think it is probably also one of the most necessary.