Finding common parenting ground
During Baby’s first year, Mommy normally calls the shots. From scheduling nap time, feeding time, play time and of course, diaper duty, mothers are the primary caregivers, but that begins to change as baby evolves into a toddler.
For many of us, parenthood is the most rewarding experience of our lives, but it can also be frustrating, confusing, overwhelming, anxiety-ridden, and for parents learning to find common parenting ground, it can lead to arguments and resentment towards each other.
We’re not programmed as amazing parents – often our skills are developed over time and by trial and error. Finding a parenting style that works for both you and your partner is critical in establishing a consistent front line where both parents agree. Undermining each other or contradicting rules enforced by one parent, but not the other is a disaster waiting to happen. It’s not only unfair to the grown-ups, it confuses kids and they quickly learn who they can take advantage of.
So what do you do when you need to establish rules and disciplinary methods? There are so many how-to books and websites chalk full of parenting advice and suggestions, quizzes and plans. You can read through them all, but unless you and your parent agree on the methods, it will be an uphill battle that will end in tears – for kids and parents.
The best way to find common ground is to communicate. Decide if both parents want a choice when it comes to establishing rules. Some parents are quite happy to take the lead from their partners, while other couples both want their input taken into consideration. Remember, common sense, retaining a sense of humour, and being able to admit when you’re wrong, goes a long way at finding your mutual parenting styles.