New Year

If you have a child who sets sky-high standards for herself and is unwilling to settle for anything less than gold-medal performances in any area of her life, why not encourage her to resolve to do something radically different this year—being less perfect and having more fun.
Become the poster child for imperfection so your child can see you trying new things—and mastering the learning curve. Pick up a new sport. Learn how to do cool new things on the family computer. Let your child see the tumbles and glitches that occur as you master this new terrain.
Show your child that something that falls short of perfection can still be wonderful. The first piece of art you complete in your art class for adults may not be gallery-worthy, but it’s still worthy of display on the mantle-piece in the family room.
Praise your child’s less-than-perfect efforts as much as her more perfect efforts. If you want her to feel like she’s as loved and valued when she brings home a fourth place ribbon or a C+ in gym as when she brings home first place ribbons and straight As, you’ve got to be prepared to walk the talk.
Finally, help your child to experience the joy in being spontaneous, in trying something new, in making up the rules as you go along, in having unscheduled time, in being thorough enough (as opposed to perfectly thorough), in savouring experiences as well as successes, and working cooperatively rather than competitively with other people – this will reap dividends on the relationship front.

– Ann Douglas is the author of Body Talk (a body image book for preteen girls which she wrote with her daughter Julie), The Mother of All Parenting Books, and numerous other books about pregnancy and parenting. Find her @ www.having-a-baby.com.