Uncommon family

We had a couple of extended family meals this past weekend, as many people do at Thanksgiving, and it was interesting to see my children interacting with their cousins, some of whom are much quieter and less physical. 

A pile of kids will be wrestling in one corner, while my littlest niece quietly pushes her truck along the carpet.  A game of tag will be running around the basement while one of my nephews works on a blacksmith's puzzle on the stairs.  A few of the adults will offer to take them to the park or the river, and half of them will cheer while the other half want to stay inside.

My kids are usually among the ones wrestling, chasing, and trying to get outside, and they don't always know what to do with the cousins who would rather play quietly on their own or read a book. Yesterday, my youngest tried to wrestle with his cousin, a normal thing to do in our house, and was startled by the angry response he got.  My eldest came to me a little later, annoyed and bewildered that another of his cousins never wants to go outside.

What my kids were realizing was what most of us have had to realize at one point or another.  You can choose your friends based on similar personalities and interests, but you can't choose your family. You have to learn to live with them despite the fact that they might not have much in common with you at all, and being able to do this is much of what building a functional family is about.