Friendship ingredients for couples to embrace

“Relationship problems occur because we do for our spouse what our individual preferences and desires would be, rather than what is important for them. Sometimes, basic qualities that contribute to good friendships – sacrifice for each other and appreciating each other – also go by the wayside  in our marriages,” says Karen Budzinski, author of the newly released How to Build An Enduring Marriage, a guide on Building Better Relationships. “Healthy friendships avoid pitfalls that often our spousal relationships fall into. We’ve listed seven of the top ingredients that catapult friendships and are highly valuable in our spousal relationships.”

Understanding

Be a person of true understanding and listen when the other person needs to work through something.

Engaging

Be someone who will enjoy doing things the other likes to do alongside them. Sometimes just go somewhere because your spouse is going, just to be with them. Take an active interest in the things your spouse does.

Look beyond the surface

Be a spouse who will look beyond words to determine any “behind the scenes” information being communicated by the other; when you have a hunch that there are things going on that aren’t being communicated, patiently encourage your spouse to bring these feelings out by listening, watching, and asking questions.

Loyal

Be loyal to your spouse. Don’t ever speak badly about your spouse; if you do, it says more about who you are than who they aren’t.

Communicate

Be a spouse who will not only listen, but who is willing to share his or her feelings with the other. Consciously let them into your world: it takes time and words.

Voice your opinion

Be a spouse who has more value than a potted plant: while valuing and considering my opinion, have the courage to voice and retain your own!

Motivator

Challenge your spouse to be a better person (be a “plus” sign).

Karen Budzinski is the author of the just-released title, How to Build an Enduring Marriage. www.karenbudzinski.com <http://www.karenbudzinski.com/> .