Changing negative behaviour

When your child has a negative attitude or behaviour toward school, try these strategies to help them through their frustrations.

Change negative self-talk. When a child continually meets with failure or negative results, he tends to look for a reason for it. He may blame himself or say, "I'm stupid. I'm no good in math no matter what I do."

The key to changing this self-defeating dialogue is to show him it is not true. Do this by getting him to remember past successes such as times when he did well in a subject. Work with your child's teacher to manufacture new situations allowing your child to meet with success. This might include easier or modified work (starting to build knowledge from where they are) and focusing attention on the correct answers in tests or homework. Reinforce the idea that we all grow and learn at different rates.

Find new ways to do the same things. Another strategy is finding new ways of doing the same thing. With math, many teachers know several ways to approach various skills such as multiplication and fractions. Ask your child's teachers if there are other methods they could use to teach the same concepts and how you can support the method at home.

Find new ways to get the same benefits. Children with a "Who cares?" attitude may be trying to protect themselves from failure. A bully may be trying to gain control or respect. A class clown wants attention. So while the goals may be perfectly acceptable, the methods they use are not. Therefore look past the current behaviour, understand the motivation behind it (the benefit they are seeking), and teach new ways to achieve the same benefit or goals they want that will replace the current behaviour. Have a bully gain respect by doing good deeds that get recognition. Let a class clown shine in a positive way when they do a speech or presentation that gets applause.

For more information contact Rob Stringer at 905.515.9822 or visit youthcoachcanada.com.