Best dad ever

My middle son wrote me a message the other day, two of them in fact.  They were left on my bed for me to find when I came up to my room.  Each had a large, hastily drawn heart in the middle, and each was captioned, “You’re the best Dad ever.  Love, Marlon.”

Now, this would be a feel good moment for any parent I think, but for my Marlon it’s more than that.  It’s a rare something that I can look back on the many occasions when the world is too much for him and I become the most convenient target for an anger that has more to do with confusion over being adopted and frustration over having two brothers and anger at whatever perceived injustice has just been perpetrated on him.  So when he yells, “I hate you. I hate you.  You’re not even my real Dad,” and includes several choice words for emphasis, I can remember the notes he left me and remember that he does at least sometimes feels otherwise.

Your own kids may not have such extremes, but keeping a long memory for the good moments can still help you keep a short memory for the bad ones.  Keep the gifts they give you.  Write down the kind things they say.  Take pictures of the times that are special to you.  And go back to them when things aren’t going so smoothly.  They’ll remind you that, whatever your children are feeling now, they do at least sometimes feel otherwise.

Luke Hill is a stay-at-home father of three boys, aged nine, seven, and three.  He has fathered, fostered, adopted, or provided a temporary home for kids anywhere between birth and university.  He has taught college courses, adoption seminars, camp groups, Sunday School classes, rugby teams, not to mention his own homeschooled kids.