The More the Merrier
The more the merrier
Bring your child’s friend on your next camping trip
By Heather Lee Leap
“Do we have to?” These were not the words I wanted to hear when planning our annual camping trip. We’d gone to the same campground for years with a group of friends and now my daughter stood before me with her arms limp and shoulders slumped.
How could she not want to go? We hike, and every day we play in the river. We laugh, share meals and spend time with our friends.
Suddenly I knew. Our oldest daughter is older than all the other children in the group and was no longer content playing with her little sisters and their friends, no matter how inspiring the setting.
If your ‘tweens have developed an aversion to the outdoors, start asking questions. They may agree that camping is fun, but think it will be boring without a pal. By the time kids reach this age their urge to be with peers has begun to nudge out their desire for family time. And can you blame them? My husband and I realized we enjoy our group camping trips more than those we spend on our own.
To reinvigorate your child’s enthusiasm for your next family adventure, consider inviting one of her friends. You might discover some surprising advantages.
Offering to bring your child’s friend on the next hike or camping trip doesn’t mean you’re sacrificing family time. You will still be together as a family, but your child will have a peer to share it with. Hiking with a friend increases your child’s independence from you, and incorporates the buddy system. Having a buddy can mean the difference between your child storming ahead of the group with a scowl, and two pals scouting ahead, returning with enthusiastic descriptions of what lies beyond the next bend.
Kids with a buddy are often willing to take on more responsibility and will jump into camp chores because they don’t want to look lazy or incompetent around their friends. Even better, teamwork becomes part of the fun. Our daughter has been known to burst into tears of frustration when asked to pitch in with camp chores. On our trip last summer, she and her friend quickly and efficiently erected their tent, hauled their own gear and did it all with confident smiles.
During the planning stage, talk to the parents of the child you are inviting to discuss expectations and how rules will be enforced. Go over rules again upon arrival at your destination, and adjust them or add to them as the situation requires. Decide how far and how long kids can wander in the campsite before checking in. Set clear safety rules for campfires and bodies of water.
You can’t choose your kids’ friends for them, but you have the final say regarding which one you will invite. Let your child choose from a short list of kids you’re comfortable spending that much time with. Be honest with yourself as you make the decision. It is unlikely the child who drives you nuts during play-dates will suddenly be tolerable during your trip.
Consider the dynamics between your child and the friend she wants to invite. Your weekend or longer adventure is not the time for your daughter to renegotiate her position in the clique. Dissuade her from inviting the popular girl who she wants to spend more time with. The goal is for everyone to have fun. Which of her friends will be a great pal for hiking, setting up the tent and toasting marshmallows?
When traveling with other peoples’ children always have parents’ contact information on hand and check in about health concerns. Get explicit, written instructions for any medications the child might require. Depending on the length of your trip or distance from home, collect health insurance information and ask for a note from the parents authorizing emergency medical care.
When extending the invitation, be up front about any potential costs. Do you want the parents to contribute money for food? Are you planning a side trip to an attraction that charges a fee? What equipment do you expect the child to bring?
A tent can be an awkward space for adults to share with children who are not family. Instead, set up a kids’ tent, the ultimate combination of sleepover and secret hideout. They can whisper late into the night by flashlight while parents retain their privacy.
If your ‘tween’s enthusiasm for camping with mom and dad has begun to wane, or the mention of any family outing results in eye rolling, it might be time to make room for one more camper. You could get a cooperative, cheerful participant out of the deal – your own child.
Heather Lee Leap is a freelance writer and mom. She looks forward to more camping trips and hikes with her husband, her children and friends of all ages.
