Image Alt

Taking time out for peace talks

Taking time out for peace talks

 

My kids fight sometimes.

I know that will surprise all the other parents out there, especially the ones with three boys under the age of nine, but it's true.  Things generally begin well — a friendly game of cards or bottle cap hockey — but inevitably somebody says something mean or bumps someone's shoulder, and the whole bunch of them end up on the floor, yelling and pushing and hitting, and I have to spend the next 10 minutes supervising mass time outs.  When everyone is calm, off they go, rinse and repeat.

Now, I have no deep and life-altering suggestions about how to stop this sort of thing, especially since I grew up in a family of five boys who behaved in much the same way.  I have discovered, however, that the fighting is much less and the recovery much quicker when I actually have my kids come and sit on my knee to address the problem.  It's worst when I try to deal with it just by calling from the kitchen as I try to cook dinner, better if I come and take them to their time out chairs by hand and speak to each individually, best if I have then have them come one at a time, youngest to oldest, to sit on my knee, work through the issue, get a hug, and get on with their lives.

All this takes time, of course, and many times my business tempts me not to take the time it requires, but things always turn out better when I do.