Parents at any stage of their children’s lives can learn to be better at parenting. It’s a role that evolves but never actually goes away. Your kids are your kids.
Having adult kids provides the perspective to reflect on how it all worked out. Despite some tarnish on “my mom of the year” medal, I believe I did a pretty good job. I like my kids, which is another level from unconditional love. They are fun to be with and we like to be together as a family. I’ll take that as a measure of success.
Apparently that assessment is to be expected based on my personality type. Our tween section feature this month discusses how your personality type affects your parenting. I learned that “extroverts rated their own parenting skills highly, while introverts were more critical of themselves”. I score a big “E” for extrovert. Curious as to what a more in-depth analysis would reveal, I followed writer Sandi Schwartz’s suggestion and completed a free online assessment at 16personalities.com.
I am a Consul. The description of Consuls as parents begins well, stating that parenting provides my type with “an excellent opportunity to display their warmth, affection and dedication in ways that have a real and positive impact. Sensitive yet firm, Consul parents are able to establish rules and authority without being entirely overbearing, using their compassion and support to smooth over the occasional miscommunication or difference of opinion”. Then comes the rest of the assessment that cautions about being overprotective.
That’s not the reason that I have a 24- and 26-year-old still living at home is it? One just finished school and the other is still engaged in post-secondary. I will miss them terribly when the move out but they aren’t locked in their room.
There was also something else that I learned about myself. In addition to being a Consult, the brief assessment provided in our article revealed that I’m an ESFJ. Parents in this group are more likely to believe their children consider them to be a good parent and are the happiest with the relationships they have with their children.
I’m not sure that knowing how being me would impact my parenting or if it would have changed the way that I raised my kids. If you are just starting out or are in mid-stream, at least you might come to understand your parenting style and know the potential implications. Parents must also keep in mind the personality type of their child. We may use the same recipe to create our kids but the result is never the same.
At least we can all say that we parent with style.